Agenda for the Committee of Conundrums

ประกOur Biographies Are as Boring as Our Meetings

Monday: "How to Write a Resume for the Soulless"

Wednesday: "The Fine Art of Yawning During a Meeting"

Thursday: "The Joy of Ap prophetsing to Our Existence in a Corporate World"

Friday: "The Thrill of Staring at Spreadsheets for Hours"

Saturday: "The Art of Pretending to Be Interested in Our Work"

Sunday: "The Fun of Reading through Meeting Minutes for the Last 5 Years"

Monday: "The Delight of Repeating the Same Meeting Every Week for 3 Years"

Member 1: 7/10 - "I'd rather be waterboarded than attend another meeting"
Member 2: 3/10 - "I'm just here for the free food"
Member 3: 1/10 - "I'm the chair, don't you know? I'm in charge, or so I'm told"
Member 4: 9/10 - "I'm secretly a robot, and I'm counting down the days until my battery runs out"

Did you know that the longest recorded meeting was 27 hours long? That's 27 hours of our collective sanity lost forever
Ourประก committee has been in existence since 1987, making us older than our average member's favorite coffee mug
We have 12 members, but only 1 has ever shown up to a meeting on time