Quantum Tunneling Theory
Our subcommittee has been studying the phenomenon of quantum tunneling, where particles can pass through solid objects. We've discovered that this can be achieved with a combination of intense concentration and a good pair of socks.
- Particles can pass through walls, but not through paperwork.
- Quantum tunneling is 100% effective, but only if you're not wearing socks.
- The probability of tunneling is directly proportional to the number of cats in the room.
Erasure Theory
We've also been investigating the art of erasing objects from existence. Our research suggests that the only way to truly erase something is to stare at it intensely for 30 minutes.
- Erasure is a form of quantum magic.
- The erasure process is accelerated by the presence of a nearby coffee machine.
- Erasure is the opposite of creation, but only on Tuesdays.