Physics Gaffe: A Study in Futility

Subcommittee on Gravity: The Unsolved Problem of Not Falling Off a Cliff

By: The Honorable Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, Chair

Executive Summary

Despite decades of research and countless hours of debate, the subcommittee has been unable to come to a consensus on the fundamental nature of gravity. Our findings are inconclusive, and we're all just sort of... stuck.

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Recommendations:

• That the Earth's surface be made of a bouncy, elastic material.
• That all objects with mass be given tiny, adorable wings.