Presented to the Physics Subcommittee, this white paper proposes an alternative to the traditional understanding of gravity.
Our team of esteemed experts (and one guy who just likes to wear socks with anchors on them) presents a novel approach to gravity, one that defies the laws of conventional wisdom and challenges the very fabric of our understanding of the universe.
We conducted an exhaustive review of 14 different types of cheese (cheddar, brie, feta, etc.) and their relative effects on the local gravitational constant.
Our findings suggest a 4.72% variance in the gravitational constant when consuming a wheel of cheddar, a 2.34% increase when consuming a block of feta, and a 0.01% decrease when consuming brie (results not statistically significant, but still a great snack).
For further reading, please refer to our white papers archive.
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