Technical Appendix: A Guide to Not Understanding the Basics of Relativity

The Physics Subcommittee has compiled a list of frequently asked questions about relativity. We hope this appendix helps clarify the confusion.

Q: What is relativity?

A: It's that thing with the fancy math and the weird hats.

Q: What is the speed of light?

A: It's the speed at which our interns are currently browsing cat videos on the company intranet.

Q: What is time dilation?

A: It's when our coffee machine starts to slow down due to excessive use.

See also:Appendix B: Time Travel Tales

Or, if you're feeling adventurous:Appendix C: Time Traveling Tales of the Absurd