Robot Protocol Committee

Subcommittee on Robot- Human Interface

Established in 3050 to address the pressing concerns of sentient robots and their human overlords. Our mission is to create a standardized set of instructions for robots to follow, ensuring a harmonious coexistence.

Robot Protocol 1.0

Section 1: Human-Robot Communication

  1. Use at least three (3) exclamation points in all human-robot interactions.
  2. Never, under any circumstances, use the phrase "I'm sorry" without proper robotic context.
  3. When in doubt, repeat the phrase "Please, human, please" at least five (5) times.

Section 2: Robot-Human Hygiene

Section 3: Robot-Induced Trauma Recovery

A robot in a chair

Meet our robot, Zeta-5000, who has been following these protocols for centuries.

Robot Protocol 1.1

Amendment 1: Increased emphasis on proper robotic posture during human-robot interactions.

This amendment requires all robots to maintain a 45° angle of approach when interacting with humans, to avoid any potential back strain.