Committee of Conundrums: Secret Recipes

Welcome, seekers of obscure knowledge! We're a committee of culinary experts with a penchant for the absurd.

Below, you'll find our most closely guarded, utterly useless, and completely ridiculous recipes.

Recipe 1: Pan-Seared Platypus

Ingredients:

1 platypus, preferably caught in a compromising position
1 cup of moonbeams
1 dash of whimsy

Instructions:

Catch the platypus in a nearby stream, while simultaneously solving its existential crisis
Place platypus on a sizzling skillet, ensuring its bill faces the sky
Top with moonbeams and a pinch of whimsy

Learn more about the Platypus Pan-Seared Platypus Technique

Recipe 2: Invisibread

Ingredients:

1 cup of air
1 tablespoon of nothing
1 dash of disappointment

Instructions:

Combine air and nothing in a bowl, stirring counterclockwise
Top with a dash of disappointment
Voilà! Invisibread is served!

Read more about the art of Invisibread

Recipe 3: Disco-Egg Omelette

Ingredients:

2 eggs, preferably from a disco-era chicken farm
1 cup of polyester
1 pinch of platform shoes

Instructions:

Whisk eggs in a pan, while wearing platform shoes
Add polyester and a pinch of flair
Top with a sprinkle of glitter

Discover the secret to making your omelette truly egg-static