The Committee of Conundrums: Solutions for the Unsolvable

Meet the esteemed members of the Committee of Conundrums: a group of experts in the field of finding solutions to problems that are clearly unsolvable. Our motto? "We're not actually solving anything, but it sounds good on a business card."

Our solutions:

And don't forget to visit our sister site, the Committee of Conundrums Adjuncts, for more unsolutions and unsatisfying answers!

Hat 1: The Hat of Infinite Answers

This hat is like a magic 8 ball, but with more letters. Just shake it up and it'll tell you something vaguely reassuring, like "Don't Worry About It" or "You're Doing Fine, I Think."

Hat 2: The Solutionary Goggles

These aren't actually goggles, but rather a pair of glasses with a built-in solution-finding app. Just look through them and you'll see a bunch of nonsense words that sound vaguely scientific.

Hat 3: The Inflatable Solution Sack

This is like a whoopee cushion, but with more words. Just blow it up and it'll tell you a bunch of obvious solutions that you probably already thought of, but didn't want to admit to.

Hat 4: The Committee's Guide to Pretending to Know What You're Talking About

This is a comprehensive guide to nodding off when you're not actually listening. Includes chapters on "The Art of Saying Yes When You Mean No," "How to Pretend to Care," and "The Fine Line between "Uh-huh" and "No, Really."

Hat 5: The Department of Unlikely Solutions: Because Why Not?

This is a collection of solutions that are so unlikely, you'll never actually use them. Includes the classic "Just Do Nothing and See What Happens," "Blame It on the Interns," and "Call in a Consultant Who Will Just Tell You What You Want to Hear."