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Committee on Sock-Based Militarization: Sock Soldier Training
Committee on Sock-Based Militarization: Sock Soldier Training
Training Manual
**Warning:** Sock soldiers are highly trained, highly caffeinated, and highly likely to steal your socks. Handle with care.
Phase 1: Sock Selection
- Choose the right socks. Not too tight, not too loose. Just like Goldilocks, but without the bears.
- Color coding: Red for Stealth, Blue for Speed, Green for Support. Don't ask questions.
Phase 2: Sock Deployment
- Launch Sock Soldiers in 3, 2, 1...!
- Use advanced sock-based navigation: toe-tally reliant on toe-ality.
Phase 3: Sock Maintenance
- Regularly polish your socks with a hint of fabric softener.
- Replace worn-out socks with new ones. Or just give them a good talking-to.
**Optional:** Phase 4: Sock-Based Mind Control
- Develop your Sock Soldier's cognitive abilities with regular sock-based meditation.
- Practice Sock Soldier's Sock-Fu.
**Advanced:** Phase 5: Sock-Based Telepathy
- Train Sock Soldiers to read your thoughts. Literally.
- Develop a Sock-Based Neural Network.
For more information on advanced techniques, visit Advanced Sock Telepathy.
Or visit the Sock Soldier's Sock-Brewery for a refreshing beverage.