Bartholomew Lawnmower, Esquire

Bartholomew is the self-proclaimed "Lawnmower Lobby" of the mysterious case. He's a man of great passion, but questionable sanity. His love for lawnmowers is matched only by his love of velvet Elvis paintings and collecting rare, antique teapots.

Bartholomew's involvement in the case began when he discovered a cryptic message on the back of a discarded lawn chair: "They cut the lawn, but not the grass."

He has been investigating this enigmatic phrase ever since, following a trail of clues that lead him to the most unlikely of places: the local hardware store, the town's most esteemed gardening club, and even the depths of the nearby woods.

But will he ever uncover the truth behind the mysterious message? Only time will tell. Or maybe just another 3am visit to the local 7-Eleven.

Want to learn more about the Mower Lobby? Check out our Secret Meetings page for more on this developing story.

And if you want the truth, just click here for a plot twist.