Committee of Conundrums: Vice-Chair of the Vice-Chair's Report
March 30, 20XX
The Subcommittee on Subordinate Funding met in an attempt to fund our subordinates, who have been feeling subordinate-ly unfulfilled.
Agenda Item 1: Funding for Subordinate Snacks
Proposed by: Vice-Chair of the Vice-Chair
We, the subcommittee, hereby propose that all subordinates be provided with a 50/50 ratio of snacks to meetings. This includes but is not limited to:
- Chips and dip for all meetings
- Coffee for all mornings
- Cereal for all breakfasts
- Cookies for all afternoons
Warning: excessive snacking may lead to subordinate-ly induced comas.
View Snack Budgeting MinutesAgenda Item 2: Reorganizing the Subordinate Schedules
Proposed by: Sub-Chair of the Vice-Chair's Assistant
We, the reorganizers, hereby propose that all subordinates be provided with a schedule that is 50% more efficient. This includes but is not limited to:
- Reducing meetings to 15 minutes or less
- Increasing coffee breaks to 30 minutes or more
- Eliminating all unnecessary meetings
Side effect: subordinates may experience increased efficiency, but also increased existential dread.
View Scheduling MinutesAgenda Item 3: Electing the Sub-Chair of the Vice-Chair
Proposed by: Sub-Chair of the Vice-Chair's Assistant
We, the electors, hereby propose that we elect a new Sub-Chair of the Vice-Chair, who will in turn elect a new Vice-Chair of the Vice-Chair. This is a recursive process that will never end.
View Election Minutes