In the interests of science, we have discovered that time loops are not just a myth, but a quantum leap forward in understanding the fabric of reality. Our research team has successfully created a time loop that lasts 5 minutes and 23 seconds, which is precisely the length of time it takes to get a decent cup of coffee.

But what does this mean for our understanding of the space-time continuum? Does it prove that the universe is just a big ol' trans-dimensional pocket waiting to be explored? We're still trying to get our heads around it, but in the meantime, we've got 5 minutes and 23 seconds to figure it out.

Stay tuned for updates, but for now, let's just say we're stuck prophets of doom, predicting a chrono-disruption of epic proportions.