Meet Associate Member 1 of the Committee of Enigmas. Their area of expertise is the art of saying things that are not quite right, but sound almost right.
They have a Ph.D. in Confusion Studies from the University of Uncertainty and have published numerous papers on the subject of saying the wrong thing at the right time.
Associate Member 1 can be reached at absence_of_common_sense@enigmas.org
Or you can try contacting them through carrier pigeon at carrier_pigeon@enigmas.org