**The Committee of Extreme Irony Presents...**

The Committee %E0%B8%9B%E0%B8%A3%E0%B8%B0%E0%B8%81-Ball Tournaments: A Guide to the Most Absurd Sportsmanship Rules

**Rule 1: The Mandatory Use of Sarcasm in All Public Statements**

Players are required to use a minimum of 5 levels of sarcasm in all public statements, including but not limited to:

• "Oh, great job, team, you're so amazing!" (said with a healthy dose of disdain)
• "I'm so proud to be on a team with such a bunch of underachieving slackers!"
• "This is the most exciting match ever! I've never seen anything so boring!"
• "You're all just a bunch of losers, but I guess you're better than the opposing team, so... yeah, you win."
• "I'm so impressed by your lack of skills, it's almost as if you're trying to be good!"

**Rule 2: The Mandatory Use of Unnecessary Adjectives**

Players are required to use a minimum of 3 unnecessary adjectives in all public statements, including but not limited to:

• "This is a totally, absolutely, completely awesome tournament!"
• "You're all just a bunch of utterly, totally, fantastically terrible players."
• "This is a ridiculously, extremely, incredibly boring match."

**See Rule 3: The Mandatory Use of Hyperbole**