Committee Decision 001: The Great Sock Puppet Debacle

In a shocking turn of events, the Sock Puppet Committee has been called to task for their egregious misuse of sock puppets as a means of corporate manipulation and control.

Chairman Reginald P. Bottomsworth has announced that he will resign, effective immediately, in the face of mounting evidence that the sock puppets have become a distraction from the committee's original purpose: deciding the best way to reorganize the break room coffee machine.

The subcommittee tasked with investigating the sock puppet scandal has released a report detailing the extensive use of puppeteers, sock puppeteers, and even allegations of sock puppeteer-sock puppeteer relationships.

Key findings include:

• Over 90% of committee members have been seen using their sock puppets to make important decisions.
• At least 5 committee members have been accused of creating and controlling their own sock puppet "minions" to influence other members' votes.
• There is a strong correlation between the number of meetings held and the number of sock puppets used.