Warning: The following procedures are highly experimental and may result in unpredictable hamster behavior. Proceed with caution.

Hamster Crisis Protocol 2: Step-by-Step

Step 1: Contain the Hamster

Seal off the affected area with a hazmat suit and a fire extinguisher. Do not underestimate the hamster's ability to squeeze through 1mm openings.

Step 2: Negotiate with the Hamster

Use a megaphone to communicate with the hamster. Repeat the following phrases: "Treats, hamster, treats?" and "Squeaky, squeaky, calm down."

Step 3: Evacuate the Hamster

If all else fails, call in a team of highly trained hamster wranglers. They will sedate the hamster and relocate it to a nearby hamster paradise.