The Great Hamster Hole Debacle

A Study in Drywall Reinforcement

In a shocking turn of events, reports have surfaced of a massive hamster hole infestation in the drywall of our beloved city's infrastructure. The holes, which range in size from tiny pinpricks to gargantuan cavities, have left experts scrambling for answers.

As our fearless leader, the Honorable Mayor Squeaks, has declared a state of emergency, we must take action to address this crisis. The people demand solutions, and we're here to provide them – or at least, to mock them in a futile attempt to distract from our ineptitude.

Solutions, You Say?

Well, after weeks of deliberation, our team of experts has come up with the following:

• Install hamster-proof drywall, available at your local hardware store for the low, low price of $500/ sqft
• Hire an army of highly trained hamster wranglers to manually fill each hole
• Declare the hamsters sentient and negotiate with their union reps for better working conditions

Subpages:

For more information on each of these solutions, visit:

• Hire a Therapist for Hamsters – A guide to understanding the hamsters' feelings and motivations
• Drywall Therapy – Because sometimes you just need to talk it out
• Hamster Sympathy – Because, let's be real, we're all in this together