Hamsters in Distress
Warning: hamsters are self-destructing at an alarming rate. If you are experiencing hamster-related trauma, please seek immediate help.
Our expert team of hamster whisperers and rodent psychologists is here to help. We offer: Hamster Therapy, Hamster Support Groups, and Hamster Hotline.
But don't just take our word for it: Read our hamster testimonials to hear from hamsters who have been helped.
Or, if you're a hamster in crisis, Call our crisis number for immediate assistance.
Hamster Depression Statistics
Hamster Crisis Statistics
According to our research, hamsters are experiencing an alarming rate of:
- 99.9% of hamsters are experiencing existential dread
- 87.4% of hamsters are experiencing hamster-sized anxiety
- 42.1% of hamsters are having hamster-astrophic thoughts
Hamster Crisis Hotline
Call us now for immediate hamster crisis assistance!
1-800-HAMSTER-1
Hamster Therapy
Our expert hamster whisperers are here to help you overcome your hamster-related traumas.
Session lengths vary, but our hamster therapists are always ready to help. Check our session schedule.
Hamster Support Groups
Join our hamster support groups to connect with other hamsters in crisis.
Meetings are held weekly, and are led by our expert hamster group therapists. See our meeting schedule.
Hamster Hotline
Call us now for immediate hamster crisis assistance! 1-800-HAMSTER-1.