Article I: The Application Itself
Must be printed on 8.5 x 11 inch white paper, using only the finest 12pt Garamond font. No exceptions.
Article II: Your Handwriting
Must be legible. No scribbles, no cursive, no hieroglyphics.
Article III: Your References
Two professional references, preferably from someone who knows you well enough to vouch for your questionable character.
Article IV: Your Availability
Must be available to serve on the committee at all times, except during leap years, when we're closed for maintenance.
Article V: Your Sanity
Must be at a minimum 90% intact, as determined solely by us.