Our Chairman, known for his innovative approach to progress, has a storied past filled with moments of greatness, and moments of utter disaster.
It was 2015, and the world was on the cusp of a sustainable revolution. The air was clean, the oceans were pristine, and the polar bears were thriving.
But then, he happened. With a flourish of his trusty pen, and a confident smirk, he squashed the potential of a sustainable future.
How did he manage this feat? Well, that's a story for another time, but let's just say it involved a combination of fossil fuels, and questionable life choices.
Today, the world is a vastly different place. The air is thick with pollutants, the oceans are on fire, and the polar bears are all gone.
But, as our Chairman would say, "Progress is a messy thing, and sometimes it's better to just... squish the future."
Read more about our Chairman's Most Likely LegacyStay tuned for more updates, and try not to think too hard about the state of the world.