Welcome, Achievers! — Committee of Past Achievements

Here's a list of things we've managed to accomplish despite our best efforts: Nothing

• Our Prophets: We predicted the apocalypse, but it turned out to be a Tuesday
• Our Failures: We tried to start a petting zoo, but it ended in tears and shredded documents
• Our Questionable Decisions: We decided to serve pizza for dinner at 8am, and it was a real treat

And that's not all, folks! — We've also managed to not accomplish a lot of other things

Subcommittees:

• Inner Circle: Where we all get together to talk about our prophetic dreams
• Failblog: A collection of our most epic fails, in all their gory detail
• Decision Tree: A flowchart of all the questionable choices we've ever made