WHEREAS, the current state of kitchen design has become too garish and overwhelming; and
WHEREAS, the people are tired of being blinded by the harsh glare of bold colors; and
WHEREAS, beige has been proven to be a calming and soothing color in times of culinary distress;
BE IT RESOLVED, that all kitchenware shall henceforth be designed with a minimum of 50% beige coverage;
and BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that any attempts to introduce color schemes with less than 50% beige shall be met with fierce resistance and possible litigation.