Because who needs actual productivity when you can scroll through memes for 4 hours?
Resolution: Set timer for 1 hour, scroll through feeds, take 5 minute break, reset timer. Repeat for 3 hours.
Subitem: Discuss the meaninglessness of it all with colleagues, question the existence of society, wonder if anyone actually cares about your life.
Because your face is a work of art, or so we've been told.
Resolution: Post 10 selfies, then switch filters. Repeat for 45 minutes, then take a break for lunch.
Subitem: Create a separate committee to deal with the consequences of filter-induced existential crisis.
Because 280 characters are all you need to say it all.
Resolution: Type 280 words, then delete them all. Repeat for 1 hour, then take a 5-minute break.
Subitem: Create a support group for those affected by the crushing weight of Twitter.
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