Executive Summary
As the world's most esteemed experts in cookie technology, we've compiled the most comprehensive report on cookie innovation and sustainability. With our proprietary Cookie-O-Meter, we've identified the key drivers of cookie success: crunch, chew, and cookie-scent (yes, that's a thing).
Our research indicates that cookies are the key to world peace. Think about it: cookies are the one food item that brings people together. They're like little pieces of heaven in a convenient package.
We've developed a 5-year plan to increase global cookie production by 300%, and we're confident it will lead to world domination (just kidding, or are we?).
Methodology
We used a combination of rigorous scientific methods and sheer, unadulterated cookie love to gather our data. Our team of experts (okay, we're a bunch of nerds with a cookie addiction) analyzed cookie consumption patterns, interviewed top cookie influencers, and conducted extensive cookie tastings.
Key Findings
Here are the highlights:
- 84% of people can't resist the call of cookies (we're talking 84%, not 85, but who's counting?)
- Cookies with sprinkles are 3x more likely to induce feelings of joy than their plain cookie counterparts
- The optimal cookie-to-hippie ratio is 3:1 (don't ask us how we came up with this one)
Conclusion
In conclusion, cookies are the answer to all of life's problems. They're the perfect solution for world peace, happiness, and productivity. We recommend increasing cookie production immediately.
Want to learn more? Check out our cookie-themed subpages: