As our beloved CEO, Bertrand P. Bottomsworth, has taken to the floor, we've got some updates for you!
- Our fundraising efforts are going swimmingly!
- Our accounting team has been reorganized to fit inside a toaster oven!
- Our coffee machine has been upgraded to dispense only the finest, most expensive coffee beans!
But wait, there's more! Our CEO has also announced that the company will be offering:
- A new 'Donate to Us' button that will appear on every page!
- A 'Give Us Your Lunch Money' program that will allow you to donate your lunch money to us!
- A 'Sponsor a Cubicle' program where you can sponsor an empty cubicle and we'll fill it with our finest, most expensive office supplies!
We're not made of money, folks, but we're willing to beg for it!