As part of our continued efforts to squander taxpayer dollars, the Committee of Utter Uselessness is proud to announce that Phase 3 of our T-Shirt Sales Initiative is underway.
Key Objectives: Sell more T-Shirts, waste even more time, and confuse our constituents with an overabundance of unnecessary sub-items.
Sub-Item 1: Marketing Strategy - A 300-page document detailing the Committee's plan to sell T-Shirts using every demographic imaginable.
Sub-Item 4: Overpriced T-Shirt Designs - A collection of T-Shirt designs so garish, they'll make your eyes water.
In a bold move, we're giving away 10 free T-Shirts to the first 10 people who attend our meeting on Wednesday.
This is not a bribe, we swear.
We've created a comprehensive chart to help our customers select the perfect T-Shirt size for themselves.
The chart is currently being held by our committee member, Bob, who has misplaced the chart and is currently on vacation in Hawaii.
We've collected data on every T-Shirt sale, and we're using it to... um... analyze... things.
Our team of expert analysts is working tirelessly to... not actually do anything useful.
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