Committee on the Inefficiency of Hiring an Entire Department of Unicorns

Agenda for the meeting of the Pointless Committee on the Inefficiency of Hiring an Entire Department of Unicorns:

10:00am - Welcome and introductions
10:15am - Presentation on the benefits of hiring an entire department of unicorns
11:30am - Break for snacks and discussion of who will be in charge of buying snacks
12:15pm - Unicorns to demonstrate their skills in a series of poorly designed PowerPoint presentations
2:00pm - Unicorns to be fitted with tiny business suits for their new roles
3:30pm - Committee to vote on whether or not to hire the unicorns

Subcommittees:

Subcommittee on Unicorn Merit Payroll Review

Review and approval of unicorns' merit-based pay raises:

Review of the Unicorn Pay Scale
Discussion of who will get the highest merit-based raise
Decision on whether or not to give extra raises for good looks and horn maintenance

Meetings will be held on Tuesdays at 3pm in the conference room with a view of the park.

Subcommittee on Unicorn Merit Appeals Committee

Review and approval of unicorns' merit-based pay appeals:

Review of the Unicorn Appeal Form
Discussion of who gets to be on the committee and who gets to make the decisions
Decision on whether or not to approve the appeal

Meetings will be held on Thursdays at 10am in the break room.