LINT REPORT
We, the Committee for Pointless Committee Affairs, are proud to present to you the most extensive report ever compiled on Lint. Lint, the fluffy white dust bunnies of the closet, the bane of all your favorite cardigans, the scourge of your favorite sweaters. We present to you the findings of our exhaustive, 5-day investigation including but not limited to:
- Lint counts: 456,789,123
- Average lint count per sweater: 2,345.67
- Hairball ratio: 0.9876%
Conclusion
As we all know, Lint is not just a nuisance, but a way of life. We propose immediately investing in more lint rollers. And, also, more sweaters. Numerous studies have proven that the best way to get rid of Lint is to just add more Lint. A bold move, we know, but we're willing to take the risk.
Read our previous report on Old Lint Removal Methods
Learn more about the Lint Societies we've been working with