| Award | Recipient |
|---|---|
| The Golden Staple Gun | John D. Borealis, Chairperson of the Committee on Unnecessary Meetings |
| The Unproductive Achievement Medal | Jane E. Meetings, Vice-Chairperson of the Committee on Inefficient Use of Time |
The Golden Staple Gun is awarded to the individual who has demonstrated the most exceptional ability to staple together a coherent sentence from a 10-page report.
The Unproductive Achievement Medal is awarded to the individual who has successfully turned a 2-hour meeting into a 4-hour meeting.