Today's agenda: because someone, somewhere, needs to know exactly how many Schrödinger's Cats are actually dead in the box.
Subcommittee A: Defining 'alive' in the context of Schrödinger's Cat
Subcommittee B: Developing an algorithm to detect the feline equivalent of 'collapsing' in superposition
Quantifying Deadness in the Box
Quantifying Catnip Consumption Patterns
Quantifying Quantum Fluffiness
Subcommittee C: Debating the finer points of 'cat-astrophe' insurance policies
Next meeting: never.