The Worst Excuses Ever Concocted

The I'm-Late-For-The-Meeting Excuse

My alarm clock was kidnapped by ninjas, and I had to negotiate its release.

My cat was having a existential crisis and I had to be there to listen.

I was stuck in a never-ending loop of cat videos.

The I-Forgot-My-Password-Manager-Password Excuse

I was at the dentist and they forgot to give me my password reset email.

I tried to use the password manager, but it was having an identity crisis.

I was at the beach and my laptop was kidnapped by a seagull.

The My-Internet-Is-Slow Excuse

The router is having a existential crisis and it's taking a long time to come to terms with itself.

I'm being held hostage by my neighbor's cat's laser pointer.

The internet is having a existential crisis and it's taking a long time to come to terms with itself.

The My-Computer-Is-Broken Excuse

I was at the DMV and they gave me a 'computer says no' form to fill out.

I tried to use the computer, but it had a existential crisis and it just shut down.

I'm waiting for the repairman to come and fix it, but he's on a existential crisis.