Better Staring Techniques Committee

Agenda for the 12th Meeting of the 34th Session

The committee met in a dimly lit, windowless conference room deep beneath the city streets. Members stared intensely at each other, searching for the perfect blend of eye-contact and apathy.

1. Item 1: Discuss the optimal angle for staring at the wall
2. Item 2: Debate the merits of staring contests
3. Item 3: Vote on whether staring is an art form or a cry for help

Next meeting: same time, same place. Bring a lunch.

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