By the Decreed and Unyielding Committee on Red Tape Bureaucracy
Commandment the First: Thou Shalt Not Create a New Policy Without a 500-page Document Unless it's a really, really good idea, then make it 2000 pages.
Commandment the Second: Thou Shalt Never Answer Any Question Directly Refer the questioner to another department, or better yet, another country.
Commandment the Third: Thou Shalt Always Use 4-Color Form 27A/27B/27C Unless it's a holiday, then use 27D.
Commandment the Fourth: Thou Shalt Never, Ever, Use Plain English Unless it's a memo, then use Comic Sans.
Commandment the Fifth: Thou Shalt Always Keep a 3-inch Binder Full of Red Ink For signing and stamping and generally being bureaucratic.
Commandment the Sixth: Thou Shalt Never, Ever, Answer the Phone Directly Unless it's a collect call from your Aunt Mildred.
Commandment the Seventh: Thou Shalt Always Use the Correct Acronym Unless it's a Friday, then use the one that sounds like it.
Commandment the Eighth: Thou Shalt Create a New Form for Every Little Thing Unless it's a holiday, then use the old one.
Commandment the Ninth: Thou Shalt Never, Ever, Use a Fax Machine Unless it's a really, really, really good idea, then use a Pony Express.
Commandment the Tenth: Thou Shalt Always, Always, Always, Always, Use 2-inch Binders For storing your 500-page documents and other really important things.