Tip #3: Include 10 pages of unnecessary statistics to make your report look impressive
We've all been there: stuck in a meeting with a pointless agenda and a committee member spewing out irrelevant data like a spreadsheet-crazed automaton. But fear not, dear reader, for we have a secret to share with you: the art of making reports look impressive with unnecessary statistics!
Subsection 3: Statistical analysis of memo templates
- Use 10-point font to make your tables look like they were created on a Commodore 64
- Make sure to include at least 5 pages of empty tables with no data
- Use a font size of 12pt for your conclusions, so it looks like you're trying to be subtle but actually you're just being lazy
- Use a chart of pie charts to show that 99% of your data is completely irrelevant
- Make sure to include at least 3 graphs per page, even if they're just empty graphs with no data
- Use a font color of #FF00FF (magenta) to make your report look like a poorly designed 90s website
- Use a font size of 18pt for your executive summary, so you can fit in as much jargon as possible
- Make sure to include at least 5 pages of tables with no headers, so your reader will be completely lost
- Use a graph of a sine wave to show that your data is completely random and meaningless
- Use a font size of 24pt for your appendices, so you can fit in as many pointless tables as possible
And there you have it, folks! With these tips, you'll be able to create reports that'll make your committee members look like they're trying to confuse each other on purpose. Happy reporting!
Next Tip: Include 20 pages of random quotes from famous people to make your report look deep and meaningful