We're a committee dedicated to setting standards for the most obvious and unnecessary things in life. Our goal is to make sure you're safe from the dangers of, well, not being safe.
Here are some tips to ensure you're as safe as a sloth in a bubble:
It's a real thing, folks. We've seen it happen. Just be careful not to trip over your own two feet, and you'll be golden.
We're not kidding. Wear a helmet for walking, for sleeping, for eating. It's a safety thing. Trust us, we're experts.
Best practices for helmet-wearing
It's just a no-brainer. Fire is bad. Don't touch it. Seriously, don't.
That's it for today, folks. Stay safe, or don't. We're not really sure what the point is.