| Name | Position | Specialty |
|---|---|---|
| Bob "The Bungler" McGee | Quarterback | Excellent napping techniques |
| Liz "The Laggard" Thompson | Wide Receiver | Profoundly uncoordinated |
| Steve "The Slacker" Jenkins | Running Back | Excellently unproductive |
| Jane "The Jinx" Doe | Defensive Back | Unflinching ineptitude |
Disclaimer: Players may or may not actually have underachieving tendencies.
Disclaimer 2: We have no idea what we're doing.
Disclaimer 3: Don't @ us.