Committee of the Utterly Useless: Foosball League Officials Manual

Chapter 1: The Rules are Made Up and Don't Matter

In a bold move, the committee has decided to create rules for our Foosball league that are completely arbitrary and will likely never be followed. These rules will be changed on a whim and are not subject to revision or appeal.

Rule 1: The Ball Must Be Inflated to a Minimum of 90% Fullness

• Any ball that is not inflated to the required level will be subject to a fine of at least $10.
• Any committee member who is seen playing with a non-compliant ball will be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including being forced to watch an hour-long video of committee meetings from 2018.

Rule 2: All Players Must Wear Matching Socks

• Failure to do so will result in a 5-minute penalty for each game.
• The committee reserves the right to change the color of the socks at any time without notice.

Chapter 2: The Schedule prophets of doom and gloom

We have decided to schedule our games on the following days:

• Tuesday: "Taco Tuesday" - a day of utter chaos and despair.
• Wednesday: "Wine and Cheese Wednesday" - a day where we will attempt to be productive, but probably won't be.
• Thursday: "Throwback Thursday" - a day where we will play the games of the past, but with different rules.

For more information on our other rules and policies, visit the next chapter of this manual.