Alan, the Unlucky One

Player of the Committee F00lball League

A 5-time All-Star, 2-time MVP (Most Vainly Pursuing), and 10-time loser of the F00lball championship. His impressive skills include:

• Missing the ball with 97% accuracy.
• Setting a new world record for most consecutive hours spent in the break room.
• Perfecting the art of blaming his teammates for his own mistakes.

Read about John, the Jinxed

See the full squad