| Name | Position | Skills | Quirks |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bob Smith | Goalkeeper | Expert at doing nothing | Has a habit of whistling "The Star-Spangled Banner" during games |
| Jane Doe | Defender | Skilled at hiding behind her hair | Has a pet tarantula named Mr. Snuffles |
| John Doe | Striker | Fastest typist in the league | Has a collection of 17 rubber chickens |