Player 1's Secret Life

As a member of the Committee for the Foosball League, Player 1's life is not all it's cracked up to be. When not busy serving on committees and attending meetings, Player 1 is secretly a:

Secret Life Title Skills
Extreme Ironing Proficient in ironing while balancing on a unicycle
Covert Agent Expertise in disguise, deception, and pretending to be someone else
Ninja Warrior Stealthy, agile, and able to eat an entire pizza by myself

Don't tell anyone, but it's all true.