| Player | Position | Specialty |
|---|---|---|
| Player 1: Foo McFoolface | Goat Whisperer | Captain, Master of Disguise |
| Player 2: Barfie P. Bottomsworth | Chief Schemer | Expert in all things Scheming |
| Player 3: Blerp Jenkins | Defensive Specialist | Shield of Protection |
| Player 4: Wizzle Thistlethorn | Offensive Maestro | Maestro of Mayhem |
| Player 5: Zorb McSnazzle | Wildcard Specialist | Agent of Chaos |
| Player 6: Foozle P. Fumblenot | Team Manager | Master of the Fiddle |
| Player 7: Bizzle F. Fumblenot | Assistant Manager | Expert in the Art of Procrastination |