| Player Name | Position | Level of Sarcasm |
|---|---|---|
| Boris McSarcastic | Goalkeeper of Sarcasm | 11/10 |
| Pete Punsley | Defender of Puns | 8/10 |
| Liz Lulz | Midfielder of Mischief | 6/10 |
| Jim Jokester | Forwards of Folly | 9/10 |
View the Team 1 Roster or Team 2 Roster for more absurdity.