It's a question that has puzzled us all, but fear not, friend, for we have answers.
According to sources close to the committee (i.e., we just looked at a spreadsheet), the roster is hidden deep within the Foosball League's secret underground bunker.
But don't worry, we've got a map!
Just follow this link to get a printable map of the bunker.
Or, if you're feeling extra adventurous, take a shortcut through the sewer system!
Just don't get lost, or you'll end up in the Lost and Found.