Welcome, esteemed members of the Foosball League 2024! Please review the rules of engagement carefully, as they are crucial for the well-being of our delicate ecosystem of ping-pong balls and flailing arms.
| Rule 1: Stick Length and Grip | The stick shall be exactly 30 inches long, with a circumference of 2.5 inches. The grip must be exactly 4 inches wide and 1.5 inches deep. |
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| Rule 2: Stick Weight | The stick shall weigh exactly 3.5 ounces, give or take 0.5 ounces. Any stick that deviates from this specification shall be subject to an immediate 5-game suspension. |
| Rule 3: Foos Shape and Size | The foos shall be exactly 2 inches in diameter, with a height of 1.25 inches. Any foos that are not within 0.1 inches of this specification shall be subject to an immediate 10-game suspension. |
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| Rule 4: Foos Color | The foos shall be exactly 50% white, 25% red, and 25% green. Any foos that are not exactly within these specifications shall be subject to an immediate 20-game suspension. |
| Rule 5: Table Size and Shape | The table shall be exactly 48 inches long, 28 inches wide, and 1.5 inches thick. Any table that deviates from this specification shall be subject to an immediate 15-game suspension. |
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| Rule 6: Table Finish | The table shall be exactly 50% glossy, 25% matte, and 25% reflective. Any table that deviates from this specification shall be subject to a 30-game suspension. |
Please report any deviations from these rules immediately to the Committee of the Absurd. Failure to do so shall result in an immediate 50-game suspension.
Hyperlinks:
Schedule Conflicts and Time-Warping, Foos Supply Chain Disruptions, and Player Behavioral Issues