Section 1: The Foosball is Mightier Than the Sword

Article 1.1: All players are required to wear their finest foosball-themed jumpsuits while competing.

Article 1.2: The foosball table must be kept at an angle of precisely 23.5 degrees, as decreed by the great Foosball Oracle of 1987.

Subarticle 1.2.1: Any player found to be in violation of this rule shall be subject to a 10-minute time-out for "Foosball-Induced Trauma".

Subarticle 1.2.2: A 5-minute warning shall be issued for players who are "Foosball-Induced Trauma"-ed, but fail to take a time-out.

Subarticle 1.3: The Art of Foosball Maintenance

Players are expected to keep their foosball tables in pristine condition, with a weekly polish and a monthly tune-up.

Article 2: The Rules of Engagement

Article 2.1: Players are not allowed to make eye contact with their opponents during competition.

Article 2.2: Players are not allowed to use their peripheral vision during competition.

Article 2.3: Any player found using a "trick shot" shall be subject to immediate disqualification.

Subarticle 2.3.1: The "trick shot" is defined as any shot that involves more than 3 consecutive back-to-back-to-back shots.