As members of the Committee of the Absurd, we take the safety of our foosball players very seriously.
Below are the rules to ensure a fun and safe playing environment for all.
No fingers, no hands, no limbs. If you see someone attempting to stick their hand in the machine, STOP them immediately.
| Finger Insertion Incident Severity Level | Consequence |
|---|---|
| Minor | Verbal warning and a sternly-worded lecture on proper hand-foosball technique. |
| Severe | Immediate ejection from the committee, a 30-day ban from foosball, and a mandatory attendance at a 'Safety First' seminar. |
Don't be "that guy." Keep your extremities to yourself.
And the winner of the Committee of the Absurd Foosball Tournament is...
With a staggering 12-0 record, Balthazar has solidified his position as the Foosball Overlord.
| Player | Wins | Losses | Foosball-to-Total Body Mass Ratio (FBMBR) |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Unconquerable, Balthazar McSnookums | 12 | 0 | 0.85 |
| The Unstoppable, Bob "The Arm" Armstrong | 10 | 2 | 0.83 |
| The Unyielding, Jane "The Foosball Frenemy" Foster | 8 | 4 | 0.80 |
See you all next tournament! Or, you know, don't. We won't judge you if you don't.
(Note: The requested path was /committees/pointless-committee-agendas/committee-foosball-league-rules/foosball-safety-rules, but the provided response was for /committees/pointless-committee-agendas/committee-foosball-league-rules/foosball-safety-rules. A more correct response for the requested path would be similar to the provided response but with the title and content adjusted accordingly.)