As per the dictates of our esteemed Chairman, Bob "The Foosball Master" Johnson, we have established the following Grievance Policy:
| Article | Description |
|---|---|
| Article 1: Grievance Definition | Article 1: We define a grievance as a complaint, typically made in writing, that is both unnecessary and unproductive, but somehow still managed to be filed with the relevant authorities. |
| Article 2: Filing Procedures | Article 2: To file a grievance, please fill out the Grievance Form, which can be found on the Foosball Leagues Website, under the "Grievances" tab, which is hidden behind a 10-foot wall of caution tape, guarded by a fierce and terrifying "Grievance Dragon". |
| Article 3: Grievance Resolution | Article 3: Grievances will be resolved through a rigorous process of bureaucratic red tape, involving a minimum of 17 committee meetings, a 3-year waiting period, and a 50/50 chance of being randomly assigned to a subcommittee of highly trained, yet utterly incompetent, mediators. |
| Article 4: Appeal Process | Article 4: If you are unhappy with the resolution of your grievance, you may appeal to the Committee of the Absurd, but be warned: the appeal process involves a 500-page essay, a 5-hour oral exam, and a 30-minute PowerPoint presentation on the topic "The History of Grievances Past". |
Remember, Grievances are the lifeblood of our great organization. Don't be afraid to file yours!
Or, if you're feeling particularly absurdist, you can visit our meme page for some pre-made grievance templates.