Section 1: Pre-Game Rituals
Pre-Game Pep Talks: Before every match, the Foosball League Commissioner shall gather the players in the conference room for a 5-minute, no-notes-allowed, impassioned speech about the importance of sportsmanship, teamwork, and not touching each other's balls.
Team Huddles: Teams are required to have at least two hours of huddle time before each game, during which they may discuss strategy, review plays, or simply stare intensely at the opposing team's logo.
Section 2: Gameplay
Ball Control: Players are expected to maintain a firm grip on their foosball stick at all times, except during the 5-second rule, when they are allowed to let go and scream "I'm a ballerina!"
Section 3: Safety Precautions
Ball Bouncing Hazards: Be cautious of the ball when it bounces back onto the field, as it may cause injury or, in rare cases, temporary blindness.
Stick Swinging Dangers: Avoid swinging your stick at opponents, as it may lead to: a) loss of ball control, b) loss of dignity, or c) loss of limbs.