Committee of the Pointless: Foosball Leagues Rules

Rule 1: Players must wear matching jockstraps during all games

Failure to do so will result in a 5-point penalty and a stern lecture from the Commissioner

Rule 2: The ball must be placed exactly 3.14 inches from the edge of the table

Any variation from this precise measurement will result in a 2-point penalty and a warning

Rule 3: No use of the "Sudden Death" move, aka the "Sudden Jerk of the Stick"

Repeat offenders will face a 3-point penalty and a 30-minute timeout for "coool-down" purposes

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