Important Notice: Foosball Superstition

By order of the Committee on Pointless Committee Agendas, all employees are hereby notified that the foosball table in the break room has been officially declared a portal to a realm of existential dread.

Please be aware that excessive foosball playing has been linked to:

• Loss of productivity: Our records show that 87% of employees who spend more than 3 hours playing foosball in a single shift experience a significant decrease in productivity.
• Negligence of responsibilities: A staggering 92% of employees who neglect their duties to play foosball for extended periods have been known to cause irreparable harm to the company's reputation.
• Mysterious disappearance of sanity: 99% of our employees who play foosball for more than 5 hours in a row have reported experiencing a temporary lapse in rational thinking.

By playing foosball, you are putting yourself at risk of succumbing to the void of existential dread that lurks within its depths.

For your own sake, we strongly advise against playing foosball for extended periods.